


Not Everyone is as Good as Kim Taehyung

by Anonymous



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Graphic means graphic, Hurt Choi Yeonjun, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Soobin and Beomgyu having interest in women, Powerful women characters, Yeonjun is good at feelings, because why men have to save everyone all the time, girls can be cool too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27012586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: TXT boys are finally allowed to go to the party and everyone enjoys it as they can, making useful acquaintances or just chilling on the couch drunk. But all good things come to an end, and they have to leave.Walking to the bathroom and having a pee is not supposed to end in tragedy, but it does, unfortunately for Choi Yeonjun.alternatively, Yeonjun is attacked by a psycho in the club bathroom and Soobin has good friend that can deal with it. But punishing turns out to be easier than fixing broken soul and Soobin tries to be the best leader
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Original Female Character(s), Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51
Collections: Anonymous





	Not Everyone is as Good as Kim Taehyung

**Author's Note:**

> I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me that I want to make idols that i love suffer in fanfics. Just in fanfics, not in real life.
> 
> I love TXT band so badly, and I think they are madly talented, guess I just want to discover their personalities from a different angle than they let us show
> 
> None of the characters in the story are mine, and none of the events really happened irl (at least I really hope so). Please, no matter what happens, support the boys 24/7 and never hurt anyone intentionally
> 
> Love and Peace
> 
> Enjoy

Tick-tock, tick-tock, music is loud in the ears and heart skips a beat at every bass boost. 

It’s been a while since they were allowed to go to the party, since all the idol thing started. Now they rarely have this kind of fun anymore, let alone in the most popular club in Gangnam, where everyone can see them openly.

Of course, they were not allowed to go there alone, and alcohol was strictly limited to two glasses of wine, but even this was enough to knock out the youngest. It was already questionable enough having the idols below 20 in a club, but connections and friends in right places could never do any harm.

Kai was weak in his knees after two sips of Merlot, so the rest of the drink was handed to Taehyun, who could handle alcohol like it was pure water. He eagerly took the drink and sipped, half-lying on the couch.

The youngest was curled up at his side, clinging like a koala baby. None of the members are actually cuddly types behind the cameras, but apparently the alcohol can bring the best and worst in people. So there he was, cute and warm, with red flushed cheeks and a content smile on the swollen lips, under Taehyun’s side. He did not drink enough to feel like puking, but just right to feel the unfamiliar warmth spreading across his young body.

‘Hey, do you wanna join the rest?’ - the youngest shouted in his ear, making Taehyun flich a little

‘Nah, I’m good here. Too drunk to stand up’

‘You are not drunk a bit, hyung. Strong as an elephant’ - Taehyun thought that he could not handle this cuteness anymore, and soon his eyes were on the stage again.

The remaining trio were obviously having the time of their lives. Meaning, obviously, as Beomguy and Soobin were awkwardly flexing in the middle of the stage with two girls in tight dresses on each side and some very drunk guy whose muscles were right about to rip the sleeves of his expensive t-shirt.

Just above the main stage was a DJ platform. It was Friday, so the music was expected to be lit, but the mixes coming from his devil machine today were not just lit. They were ecstatic, a combination of bass-boosted rnb and hip-hop cuts, bringing back the memories of early 2000s. The more mature audience visibly appreciated the music taste, cheering the invisible magician up and screaming the familiar lyrics. 

But music was not the only reason the crowd was so loud today. Once glance above was enough to see the bright pink hair bopping to the beat, screaming like there was no tomorrow. Strong arms were flying in the air, hips doing unimaginable things - this could not be anyone else but Choi Yeonjun having a good night. 

‘You are so good, a dancer?’ - he heard the DJ ask when the song has finished.

‘Yeah, that too’ - the pink-haired panted heavily, partially-exposed chest and neck dripping with sweat. Gladly he decided to stay away from long-sleeved clothes today.

‘Yeah...wait, now that I see your face, you do look kinda familiar. Are those not your group mates dancing with the hotties over there?’ - he pointed to the middle of the stage where Soobin and Beomgyu were chatting with two women. They both looked older and one of them reminded Yonjun of the vice-director of BigHit sales department they met a couple weeks earlier. - ‘One of them is a parliament member, you know. Shin Jihan and Lee Seungna, they often come here together, but I never saw them dancing with men’

‘Guess my mates are just too charming. Our boss will never allow losers in the company’ - they both chuckled and the party continued. -’Thanks for the night bro, the music was fire. See you sometime!’ 

‘You were the fire today boy! Take care, I will vote for you on the charts’ - they bump-fisted and Yeonjun jumped down to his friends on the stage. He instantly noticed Jihan-noona in a red dress and Soobin’s arm around her waist, half-hugging her from behind. He was drunk and tired, but not to the point where it was possible to understand that if someone decides to take a picture of them in such provocative position, TXT will be over before they manage to even think about the next comeback. At least Beomgyu was decent enough to keep his arms to himself

‘Sorry for interrupting, ladies and gentlemen, but I need to take these charming princes home. It is midnight and we do not want our taxi driver to turn into a rat, do we?’ - he tried to speak as nonchalantly and sweetly as possible, the last thing they needed was to anger one of the heads of their company and a parliament member.

‘Your little friend is right, it is time for us to leave too’ - the other lady said, taking a hair curl away from her face and wrapping her arm around their noona’s.

‘I am their hyung, by the way’ - Yeonjun fake-pouted, which made both females open their eyes and then sincerely laugh.

‘Sorry, your cute face deceived me. See you in a while, boys’ - both said at the same time, and headed to the garage doors through the crowd. The naughty thought that these two gorgeous powerful women are living together briefly came across Yeonjun’s mind.

‘Are they lesbians?’ - he asked, facing his mates, as they walked to the couch with youngers.

‘We also thought so, hyung’ - Soobin laughed. - ‘But they were clearly interested in having some fun with us’ - he looked at Beomgyu and they both were flushed red. 

‘You kids are disgusting! But lucky, dammit’ - the eldest hugged himself in a fake attempt to express his discouragement, but pathetically failed as the smile curved the corners of his lips. All three laughed, when suddenly Yeonjun felt the familiar urge most people experience after drinking. - ‘I need to use a rest room, take the kids and go catch a taxi. The crowd is going now, we must be lucky and get one before its too late!’

With these words he quickly headed to the doors hidden behind the corner. ‘Why do they make it so hard to reach, my bladder is about to burst’ - he thought. 

Thanks God the some cabins were free, most probably because everybody was trying to get a cab outside. He quickly ran inside and felt immediate relief as the process began. He drank so much that day, but he and Taehyun were not easily affected by the alcohol. Soobin and Beomgyu spent most of their money on drinks for noonas, he thought, so they should not have had more than a glass in total. The maknae was not as strong as the rest of the group, but he already slept for a couple of hours, so everybody should be fine by now.

He quickly finished, flashed the toilet and went to wash his hands. Water was cooling against his finders, and it felt so good as he sprinkled his face and half-exposed chest with cold liquid. The boy looked at himself in the mirror, noticing how red his cheeks and lips were from dancing so much. The small amount of eye-shaddow slightly smeared, making his eyes darker and he looked a little… slutty, an unpleasant observation. He quickly fixed the makeup and applied balm to moisturize chapped lips and fixed his shirt to cover the collarbones at least half. 

Now he definitely looked better and more alive. But the adrenaline from the activity was fading and he suddenly felt very tired. Sparkly eyes started drooping, legs were not so steady anymore and his arms started shaking a bit. It was time head back.

Suddenly, there was a fruity smell and a loud bounce from the cabins. One of the doors opened, almost hitting Yeonjun. The boy jumped back in shock, but the rest room was kinda small and he was left almost a meter away from the obviously drunk man. 

‘Sorry, i did not know you were here - the man said sluggishly. Yeonjun had to look up because the man was almost taller than Soobin, and it was obvious that the guy was under something. He felt the need to get out, but the person in front of him stood almost covering the way to the entrance door, eyeing him weirdly.

‘Oh, it is you’ - what? - ‘You were the guy dancing with DJ before. It was impossible to not notice such a hottie, you know’ - the guy smirked and Yeonjun wanted to escape this place like never before. The fact that there was no one else in the room did not help as well.

‘Um-thanks. I need to find my friends now, see ya’ - he did not know how to respond, so heading straight to the entrance seemed a good idea.

‘Wait!’ - he grabbed Yeonjun’s hand and turned him around. - ‘I could not see from so far, but you are clearly a cutie as well. These lips are so pretty’ - he stared at Yeonjun’s lips sliding a large hand slowly but steadily up the boys’ arm to his neck. 

‘Thank you, now I really - ‘ - Yeonjun was strong. He hit the gym together with Taehyun almost every day, no difference how intensive the dance practice was. Gosh, he even won against all the members in that ToDo game, no one could actually call him physically weak and mean it. 

But no matter how strong he could be in his own circle, he did not feel safe around a drugged huge hulk of a man, who seemed unwilling to let him go any time soon. 

‘No need to rush, dear’ - the man interrupted. His tone was sweet but the eyes were cold. Yeonjun froze from shock, not knowing what to do when he was physically restrained. The man was stroking the skin from his neck to left ear, up and down, fingers of the other hand fixed tightly around the boy's wrist. 

‘I really need to go. There are people outside waiting for me. And you are hurting my arm.’ - Yeonjun tried to be stern and look directly at the opponent. He was probably too used to feeling stronger than anyone else, and no one dared to go this far with him before. He was the one protecting female, and some male, trainees from unwanted attention, he was even the one protecting a tall ass Soobin when an angry trainee, who had an eye on the girl Soobin was dating, decided to win her by gang-attacking him after practice. How did he manage to fight four idiots, but felt so scared with one now?

‘I’m sure they do.’ - the man ignored the last remark, his face amused and eyes still fixed on Yeonjun’s lips. This is not going well at all, was what Yeonjun thought, seconds before the guy grabbed his hair with one hand, pulled his arm by the wrist with another so that he was in a back-to-front position, and roughly pushed him to the basins. The hand in his hair felt stronger and Yeonjun felt his own face being pushed against the mirror. The boy let a painful groan of shock escape when his hair was pulled harder.

‘What do you think you are doing?!’ - Yeonjun could not hold the fear anymore, screaming at full force and hoping someone would hear. This was really not the best position to be found for the male idol, but they can deal with the rumors after. Getting raped in a club washroom was not something he would deal with equally easily. - ‘You are drunk, out of your mind! Go get someone for the night, let me go, you moron!’ - he shouted, pulling his hands free with full force and punching the man in the ribs. Painful sound from another person sounded satisfying.

‘Such a feisty baby, not my style. But your hips are too good to miss a chance’

‘You Never had A Chance” - Yeonjun accentuated each word, and twitched in the direction of the door. The room, unfortunately, was too small and Yeonjun did not even manage to fully open it when he felt his whole body going down to the floor, pressed by something extremely heavy. The guy must weigh a ton, because he could barely breathe underneath. Or, perhaps, it was from the pain he felt when his head hit the hard floor. 

Yeonjun felt almost passing out of pain, his vision was blurry and bright spots appeared in front of his eyes. The man above him was holding his wrists in one hand, before moving them above the boy’s head. It made breathing even harder, he needed oxygen or his body will be dead soon, but the other person obviously was too busy ripping his t-shirt at the bottom as he lifted it up, then moving his hand to the hem of skinny black jeans, Yeonjun was unfortunate to look so absolutely delicious in. 

He couldn't breathe and couldn’t see properly, and it really felt as if he was dying. Suddenly, the cold air brushed the skin of his lower half, and he looked down with terrified eyes, as the man licked two fingers and bought them down. 

‘Here we go, relax, sweety. You were bad today, luckily, I am quick to forgive such pretty little things when they give me pleasure in return’ - his half-open drugged eyes were piercing Yeonjun, and he felt so scared, he could cry.

‘N-no, please, no. Stop! I don’t want it! Help! Somebody, help!’ - he thought the voice was loud enough, but with head injury, even whispers felt like screams.

‘You will not regret it, baby. I will take care of such a sweet little thing’ - and Yeonjun felt two thick fingers penetrate his body, making him scream in agony. He never experimented with guys before, but there were several suggestions from his sunbaes. 

Taehyung sunbaenim once said he would be glad to help him discover new territories when Yeonjun came to his studio one night and cried as his girlfriend (or so he wanted her to be) said she would never date an idol. Taehyung handed him a cup of chamomile tea, a blanket and a shoulder to cry, when suddenly he found himself lying on the elder’s chest and listening about Taehyung’s boyfriend of 3 years. They were a good match, so other members said, but he was non-idol and could not handle constant absence and jealousy that came in package with dating a celebrity of his rank. 

‘So, you let him go?’ - Yonjun asked with sad eyes. - ‘You sound so happy when you speak about him, and you just let him go?’

‘Sometimes, love is saying goodbye when it hurts, if this makes them happy’ - the other said softly, but his voice was shaky. 

‘How was it? Dating a guy, I mean. I never had a boyfriend in my life, sorry if this is too intrusive’

‘It’s okay, I get it. Not everyone understands, Yeonjun-ah. Despite how often you see LGBTQ on media, the vast majority of people is not attracted to their sex. It is the same as loving a girl, or anybody else. It just gets complicated when it comes to society accepting and viewing us, but at the bottom it is still pure and burning love’ - Taehyung held his dongsaeng closer, kissing the top of his head, like a father telling a life story to his son. 

‘Oh..’ - Yeonjun was not expecting it to feel so normal, talking about gay love so openly. - ‘I wonder how it feels, to be, you know, emm, physical with another man. It sounds so different from what I am used to’ - Taehyung let a small puff and his lips stretched in a mischievous smile.

‘You are really attractive for your age, Junnie. There should be no problem if you decide to discover new territory’ - the older’s hand moving slowly to his dongsaeng’s shoulder.

‘I don’t think I am that attractive to guys, to be honest. Would you do something like that to me, hyung?’ - ah my, Taehyung could not comprehend how someone so tall and strong could look so innocent and sexy at the same time. There was no way he was doing this to an underage hoobae, but those puppy eyes and swollen lips were too tempting. 

That night Yeonjun had his first kiss with a man, his idol and brother figure, someone so dear to his heart that he could not believe a person like Taehyung-hyung ever even looked at an insecure mess of a trainee like him. Luckily, they never went past kissing that night, as the elder saw him trembling and almost crying again when Taehyung started unbuttoning his pants. He was a kid, after all, and it was new to him. He could never break the trust younger had in him, Kim Taehyung was never that kind of man, so they stopped and never came back to it again.

But not all men are Kim Taehyung, and not all can stop when they need to. Bling pain in his lower half and head reminded him of this sad fact too abruptly. Even in a half-conscious state, he did not stop fighting and kicking his legs as much as it was possible in the situation. 

‘Stop fucking fighting, bitch!’ - Yeonjun felt the sting of fear and satisfaction that the man was still not getting it his way. Even a small discomfort to the opponent was enough to keep Yeonjun from feeling absolutely helpless. - ‘Guess i have to stop wasting my time being gentle to you’

With these words he unzipped his pants and Yeonjun could feel something much bigger adding up to the fingers inside of him. No, no, it was not possible. He could never think a pain could be this intense and excruciating. He felt flesh ripping and heard painful wailing through the cloud covering his mind. Was it him screaming? Perhaps, but the voices were so distant and sounded painfully familiar

‘Hey, what’s going on there?. Are you okay?’ - it was a worried female voice.

‘What is happening?’ - another voice. It was a man.

‘We heard screaming inside. There must be something happening, a fight or I don’t know’ - the female voice responded.

This followed by banging on the door. This was his last chance, he could literally die here.

‘Help!’ - he Yeonjun heard his own voice and it took his last breath before the door banged open and the darkness welcomed him. The last thing he saw was a familiar red dress and long hair rushing to them and he suddenly felt empty.

They were waiting for fifteen minutes already. Soobin managed to catch a taxi almost immediately, only giving way to the group of middle-aged women tweeting lovely thank-yous in their direction. Beomgyu. Taehyun and Huenningkai were passed out in the back seat, too tired after the intense party time. It was fun, and they managed to avoid any type of scandals and fights, which was perfect. Finally they could be normal again.

Soobin was fidgeting with his iPhone. Did his hyung have a constipation or why was it taking so damn long to take a pee? He wanted to call Yeonjun ten minutes ago, but remembered that his hyung does not take the phone because ‘I just want to have a good time with real people for once, Binnie’, which Soobin totally understood. 

‘I will go take my friend from the loo okay?/ I’ll be in five’ - he told the taxi driver. The man nodded in response, although Soobin could see he was not happy waiting for half an hour, it was his job time, in the end.

The leader quickly jumped out of car and was half-way to the entrance when his iPhone rang. He looked at the screen in shock, why was she calling him so soon?

‘Hi, noona. What’s up?’ - he answered cheerfully.

‘Soobin, come to the club. Male restroom. Fast’

‘Noona, what are you -’

‘It’s Yeonjun’ - she said simply and her tone raised panic in Soobin. He sensed that something was wrong, he should have checked on hyung earlier, and if something happened to him, it was only his fault.

He quickly let the thought go and sprinted to the cursed place. Soobin never knew a human could run so fast.

Different scenarios flashed in boy’s mind before he reached thee bathroom: Yeonjun had a fight, he was caught by a fan, or having sex with a girl, or drooling asleep on the toilet floor. Nothing, though, could prepare him to the sight he had to endure right now.

A man with a bloodied face was screaming and laughing like mad, pinned to the floor by another man in black suit, who was earlier introduced to them as Jihan’s driver and bodyguard.

His noona and her friend were sitting on the floor, with the latter trying to cover blood dripping from Yeonjun’s head. Jihan-noona was whispering ‘It is safe now’ in his ear and asking him to wake up. 

‘Stop’ - sobbing thought - ‘What is going on?’ - he must have said it out loud, because the next thing he knows, four pairs of eyes, frightened and crazy, were on him, and he felt his whole world drop at the sight of his hyung in Jihan-noona’s hands.

His kind lovely and strong hyung was lying unconscious on Jihan’s lap, her friend frantically shoving new portions of tissues to his head, trying to prevent blood loss. Yeonjun was pale, large bruise was forming on his right side of the face and his shirt was ripped at the bottom. Only then he noticed that the zipper of his jeans was smashed too and his whole body turned into stone, blood running cold.

‘We need to call the police’ - Seungna said. - ‘This bitch banged his head on the floor at least twice and tried to fight with him’ - she stumbled before saying the word fight for a second, but Soobing was not stupid or drunk enough to not notice that the man on the floor had his pants down a little as well. No way it happened, not with them, not with Yeonjun hyung. He was so strong, powerful, confident. He could not have been … so easily. Not this way, not now.

‘Soobin, call the fucking police!’ - Jihan’s voice pushed his back to the cruel reality. 

‘Is it not too much drama for a fucking whore?’ he heard the man on the floor speak with venom in his voice. The guy seemed out of his mind, his pupils dilated and eyes wide like they are ready to pop out. - ‘He clearly enjoyed it too. Even passed out from pleasure, can’t you see how good I stretched this little babe? Hey, Soobin, you are his leader, right? I’m sure you dreamt about stretching this honey full and nice at night, ha?’ - the words felt sticky and disgusting on Soobin’s skin. He got a phone out of his pocket, and called 112. 

‘I may go to jail, but I will tell the whole world that this slut was mine for the night. I will go down and drag you with me, little bird!’ 

‘Shut up.’ - the bodyguard took a cotton fabric from his pocket and shoved it into the psycho’s mouth. He no longer spoke, but his presence was too loud for everyone’s liking.

Soobin was panicking even more now. The man was mad, but he was right. They could never get away from the ‘group whose eldest was raped in a night club’. It was selfish to think so, but he could not help the thoughts flooding over. Their future just started, Yeonjun is barely 21 years old, they worked so hard to reach where they are now, and it all has been taken in 15 minutes by some stranger. 

‘Soobin, break the call.’ - he heard Seungna. How can women be so calm in this situation? It made Soobin think that, sadly, as women in such a manly environment, they must have endured things like this quite often. This world is never a safe place, especially when you are young and good looking.

‘How are you going to deal with it?’ - Jihan asked. Of course, she mentioned being a part of parliament earlier, there must be a certain way to deal with people that cross the line.

‘No one is going to find out’ - he saw the man relax at these words - ‘That you ever existed.’ - she never looked at him, but Soobin heard the muffles and screams as the guy realised what is about to happen.

‘Bet we can find a couple packs of cocaine back at his house. And police would accidentally’ - she pronounced it with so much hatred - ‘would be there when you fell asleep after watching child pornography video. Their distributor was uncovered lately, but you know...the customers keep such trophies to themselves. And, maybe, he completely accidentally recognises the customer in this ugly face, because, babe, you are impossible to forget.’ - she was clearly enjoying it, and Soobin was scared for a second that he has such powerful friends.

‘Don’t shake Soobinnie, we will never do something like that to you, unless you really cross the line’ - she said as if reading his mind.

The room went still for a second, and if the bodyguard did not knock the psycho out, they could(never) miss a pained ‘Hmmmf’ coming from the person on the floor.

‘Yeonjun!’ - Soobin rushed to his side, barely touching the elder’s cheek. He was too afraid to make hyung’s injuries worse. - ‘Taxi! Taxi is waiting for us, the kids are still there.’

‘He needs a doctor, but we cannot just take him to hospital like this. Rumors will spread and there will be no sense in hiding anything.’ - Jihan whispered, aware that the hurt boy must have at least mild concussion. 

‘We have a company doctor, he often comes for BTS hyungs to the dorm’

‘Can you trust him?’

‘With my life, noona’ 

He saw Yeonjun slowly opening his eyes and groaning in pain. His eyes were red, but there were no traces of tears on his face. His hyung was so strong, even when being horribly assaulted, he managed to scratch and leave bruises on the bastard’s face and arms. He saw the bruised knuckles and it made him a little relieved.

‘Soobin? Why is everyone here? My head hurts so much’ - Yeonjun whispered and winced. His eyes were open and slightly unfocused, but apart from that he seemed almost … fine? Good thing the concussion appeared to be not severe and he was comprehensive. 

‘You were hit in the head, hyung’ - he said softly, coming closer to the boy on the floor. Yeonjun even tried to get up, which only ended in him screaming and panting heavily. He was hyperventilating, he - ‘It’s okay, you need air. Let’s get you outside, can you stand up?’

He saw the elder look at him with round scared eyes, body shaking like a leaf. At first Soobin thought that his hyung forgot what happened because of his calm reaction. He was not screaming, not crying, not flinching from the touch like it is shown in movies. 

But one look into the elder’s eyes told him that it was bullshit. It is not easy to erase memories, especially the strong ones, and Yeonjun remembered everything. He was scared to death, probably disgusted and ashamed, and in so, so much pain. But he was also incredibly strong, and had too much pride to admit that it hurt. 

Soobin sensed that the facade would break later, but for now, he could use hyung’s courage and take him to the dorm. He felt almost happy when Yeonjun nodded.

‘Let’s go home then.’ - he said quietly and very tenderly, slowly sitting down and stretching his hand for the elder to grab. Jihan and Seungna helped him up.

‘Let me know if you need something. We are also involved in it now, Soobin’ - his noona said as she let go of Yeonjun and helped to get him on Soobin’s back. - ‘Do not tell others just yet, let him decide when it’s time. He did not have much choice in this place, let him be in charge at least in who knows hid painful secrets’.

He nodded, feeling suddenly grateful to have such friends.

‘Hey, finally!’ I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes already!’ - the taxi driver was mad, from what they looked on the outside it could be mistaken for Yeonjun getting too drunk and his friend carrying him on his back.

‘Soobin-hyung, what happened. I saw you running to the club, and what happened to you hyung?’ - Beomgyu was awake, and, apparently, chatting with the driver this whole time. Social butterfly indeed.

‘It’s nothing, Gyu. Just some jerk decided that I wanted to steal his girl. Got a little messy, you know.’ - he tried to smile, but it came out as an ugly grin that never reached his eyes. But everyone was drunk and fights can be nasty, so no one really paid much attention to the eldest’ state, except one person. 

Yeonjun wanted to sit at the very back alone, and Soobin really understood where it was coming from. He could not handle sitting alone with an angry male at the front, nor there was any place in the middle seat where the maknae line was squished together.

It stung Soobin’s heart to realise that hyung said ‘alone’, which meant ‘without Soobin’, but he could not be pushy, not in this situation. So he just nodded and helped the other sit in the back, taking the front space himself. Through the mirror he could see Yeonjun’s face getting darker, skin paler, painful expression on his face as he tried to hold back emotions from the past event. Beomgyu fell asleep again and the car became silent. Yeonjun was breaking. Soobin was suffocating.

‘Go to shower first, I will prepare the bed’ - Soobin said as they finally reached their room. Kids were exhausted and they had a day off tomorrow, so everyone agreed to get a good night's sleep now.

‘Okay’ - the other simply replied and headed to the shower. Soobin could not help the tears when he saw his hyung limping and gasping every time his body moved. They both were skilled at covering and pretending, and it was easier for both to continue. Soobin did not know how he could help, and Yeonjun probably did not know how to deal with all of it. 

When he heard the door click behind his back, Soobin came to the other’s bed and arranged the blanket and sheets. He made some tea in the kitchen and took a chocolate bar that he bought secretly earlier today. His hyung was a sweet tooth and could never say no to a yummy melting substance.

Soobin was worried for his hyung, but his skin felt so itchy from the sweat, and he could not hold any longer. It appeared a good idea to use the second bathroom.

Water helped to get rid of the sweat, alcohol and emotions that accumulated in his head during the past couple hours. He tried not to think of Yeonjun-hyung’s limp body on the floor and swollen eyes filled with pain. Soobin failed.

When he came back to his room, Yeonjun was already sitting on his bed, typing something on the phone. The scene could look completely normal, if not for the long-sleeved pajamas that his hyung never wore before, saying that he is too hot to cover himself, whatever meaning that implied. His hands were slightly shaking and his whole body was trembling, but he did not seem broken. Long bangs covered his eyes and nose, only plump pale lips were exposed to Soobin. His hyung always used chapstick to keep them moisturized, but they still were never this pale on their own.

‘Hyung, I made some tea. And here is some chocolate. I know you try to keep your diet, but I think it would benefit your blood right now.’ - he took two cups from the table and came to his roommate’s bedside. Yeonjun looked up at him with red eyes and freed some space for Soobin to sit.

‘Thanks Binnie’ - his voice was too soft and barely audible. Soobin tried to keep his posture, but the little sound that escaped his hyung’s lips when he moved his hips was cutting his heart in half. - ‘Are you not tired? I think you should go to sleep’ - now he also felt guilty. He was the leader, the taller one, the best friend that was supposed to take care of his baby hyung. He should be the one asking.

‘I want to be with you today, hyung. I think we both need someone around.’ - as words escaped Soobing’s mouth, Yeonjun’s head shot up, eyes wide and scared. He visibly paled and started shaking harder, as if being caught red-handed.

‘Soobin, what happened today -’

‘- was not your fault, Jun-ah’ - the leader could not let his hyung slip into self-blaming. He was the one who could not protect one of his members, and it was up to him to let his hyung know that they will live with it. - ‘I know you may think otherwise, but it was all that bastard’s fault. He is going to regret his life, believe me.’

‘What do you mean? What did you do? You did not do anything stopid, Soobin, did you? Oh no, you called the police? They know about …? About me?’ - Yeonjun was hyperventilating again, paling even further, if it was even possible.

‘No, hyung, no, no. Nobody called the police, you would not be here, don’t you think? Jihan and Seungna-noona were there, they know how to deal with stuff like this. And believe me, you would not want to piss these girls, even if they look so hot’ - Soobin smiled. The situation seemed surreal, everything looked normal, but nothing was. His hyung was. No, his hyung survived a horrible assault a few hours ago, and here they were - chatting almost peacefully on his bed.

‘Yes, I remember. They were there. You need to thank them for me. I, I, I-’ - the elder seemed uncomfortable describing the situation, and Soobin waited. Inside,he was screaming for his hyung to stop, he did not think they would handle the full truth, but Soobin, despite being a leader, had to word in this. Noona told him so. - ‘I don’t know how it happened, Bin-ah! He just -, I wanted to walk outside, and he just grabbed my hand, my hair and - oh Gosh, Soobin - I tried to run and he was so heavy, I - couldn’t breathe, he hit my head twice and I- I was so helpless.’ - Soobin did not want to witness this. He needed to be as far away from here as possible. He stayed.

‘I was so helpless, my head was spinning, I tried to fight, Soobin, please, believe me - I fought, I did not want this, I punched him’ - Yeonjun was in a full blown panic attack, all the memories flooding him as he voiced it out loud - ‘but he was too strong.’ - the last line sounded defeated, like he was tired of fighting and keeping it inside. He needed to let go, and Soobin would do anything to make him feel better.

‘I know, hyung. I saw bruises on his face and forearms, he was in pain when we got there. You hurt him too, even though I know you did not want it’

‘No, please, no. I never wanted to hurt anybody, but I was in so much pain. Why did he do that? Why me, there were so many people that would willingly do that with him, so why did he have to choose me, Bin-ah? Why did he want to break me?’ - it was amazing to Soobin how honest and direct their conversion was. Yeonjun was hurting, but he was not bottling up and it was going so much better that Soobin imagined during car drive. 

‘It was not you, Jun-ah. He was under drugs, and that had nothing to do with you. He might have seen you somewhere, but that was nothing to do with who you are or where you were’

‘Or how I dressed’ - Yeonjun said sadly. Maybe his provocative clothes made the man, no, predator, attack him. Maybe he seemed willing and easy, with his makeup and tight back clothes.

‘You could wear a Minion costume and it would still make no difference. He is crazy hyung, and he is getting what he deserves.’ - this left no room for second thought. Yeonjun felt better, honestly, much better, he managed to speak and spill everything out, he trusted Soobin with his life, in the end. There was no reason to hide an elephant in the room, pretending that nothing happened and breaking the group apart.

Although he did feel better inside, his body was feeling weirdly. He was cold and in pain, so much worse that it was before. He felt incredibly tired and was about to pass out again. 

‘Soobin, I need to lie down. Thanks for the tea, you should sleep as well’ - the elder said while opening his blanket and slowly placing himself underneath, shivering violently. Why was it so cold? 

‘Hyung, how are you feeling? You look really bad, what hurts?’ - Soobin was worried again. He was so preoccupied with the eldest’ mental state that he forgot an enormous stress his body had been under. He felt Yeonjun’s forehead and flinched instantly at how hot it felt against his already hot palm. He is burning with fever, and Soobin froze as the thought came across his mind.

‘Hyung, what hurts? Tell me, please?’

‘My head and..there, where he..had me’ - he said weakly, note of shame and disgust on his face. If his hyung develops an infection from the tearing inside, they would have to operate on him. He could not let it happen.

‘I will bring antibiotics, okay? Let me call our Doctor-nim to have a look at you. Tell me if something changes, okay?’ - Yeonjun did not have any strength to respond, but nodded.

He was woken up by the foreign voice and face in front of him, which made him flinch in terror. 

‘It’s me, Seokjae-nim. Soobin called me and said you are in bad shape, can I have a look? You will feel better afterwards, I promise. Here, I am not going to hurt you, Yeonjun-ah.’ - the man was apparently aware of the situation. Of course, Soobin had to tell him, after all, he was going to examine and treat him in the best way possible, he could not hide anything from the doctor.

‘S-sorry, hyung. I can’t move my limbs, I am so tired. Can I go to sleep, please?’ - it broke both men’s hearts to see their strong eldest group member in such shape. They all had bad days sometimes, but even during their worst times, no one, ever, looked like this. 

‘Soobin and I will help you, but you have to let us, okay? Do not panic, we are here to help.’ -the man said carefully, as if speaking to a scared child. Which Yeonjun was not far from right now.  
\- ‘I am going to remove your blanket, but you can hug it, okay? Is there something else we should be worried about other than two main areas?’

‘No he just hit me in the head. But i feel fine, only the light headache’

‘Okay, this is good. Can you take off your pants, Yeonjun-sshi? I know you do not want to, but I need to check if there is something endangering your health’ - the doctor kept his hands on his own lap, avoiding excessive touching of the fragile boy as much as possible. He treated rape victims before, both female and male ones, and he knew that the worst is still to come. He felt sorry that this kid had to go through such a horrible experience that will stay with him forever. 

Yeonjun was too weak and scared of what was coming, but took off his clothes nonetheless. Seokjae-nim gave him a blanket to hug, and Soobin was holding his hand. The leader was visibly stressed as well, dark circles under his tired eyes. It must have been so hard for him to handle this at such a young age. 

‘Bin-ah’ - he heard his bandmate call him. - ‘I am scared’ - Yeonjun was looking up at him, as the doctor stood up and helped him to get on his side. He was vulnerable and exposed, and it felt too familiar, bringing back the memories of the night. 

Suddenly there were lips on his aching temple, and he felt Soobin’s soft lips peppering kisses on his face. 

‘I am going to open your legs a little, okay, Yeonjun-sshi?’ - Yeonjun nodded lightly and squeezed his eyes shut, whimpers escaping his mouth as he felt a wave of horrible pain wash him over. He squeezed Soobin’s hand so hard it may bruise the next day.

‘I know, hyung. I know it hurts, but you are so strong. We can go through it together, squeeze my hand harder’ - he kissed the broken knuckles. He desperately tries to hold the elder as tight as he could, he wanted to envelop him in his own body and cover from all the pain that was breaking this fragile person. 

‘It is almost done, Yeonjun-sshi. There is nothing major, but the area is torn and red, which can be early stages of infection. I will apply some ointment now and you will feel much better, okay?’ - the asked did not even manage to reply before he felt fingers lightly massaging a cool substance into his burning area, and he never felt so ashamed. He laid naked in his own bed, foreign fingers in his ass trying to make him feel better. After he was raped by some drug-addict who was too psychopathic to mind other’s feelings and fucking stop.

Thoughts were swarming in his mind, when abruptly, everything disappeared, except for the sensation of the soft warm lips on his own, chapped from pain and labour breathing. Soobin was kissing him, slowly and delicately, like he was a flower, one of his girlfriends, each of whom he dearly loved. 

‘I am done, Yeonjun-sshi. If it gets worse, you know how to contact me. I know my way out’ - the doctor said before the pair could break the kiss and properly walk the doctor outside. Soobin disconnected their lips and looked with so much care and tenderness that Yeonjun wanted to cry. It was a good thing, crying from overwhelming love, right?

‘I am sorry, hyung, but it was a good way to distract you, wasn’t it?’ - Soobin’s words said sorry but his tone and face were conveying the complete opposite. He never stopped smiling and stroking his hyung’s head. - ‘Do you want some painkillers? Seokjae-nnim told me to give them when it gets too bad.’

‘I’m fine, at least, I will be.’ - Yeonjun said weakly, pulling the blanket over his naked body. He wanted to cover up as soon as possible, even when it was just him and Soobin. 

‘Okay’

‘Can you hold me?’

‘Are you sure? Is it not too soon for you?’ - Sobbing wanted nothing more but to surrender to the invitation, but he did not want to make his hyung even more stressed.

‘I am sure. My body may be hurting and scared, but he did not break my mind. You are still my friend and you will never do anything to me, Soobin-ah’ - he sounded so cute, head stretched to face Soobin above him, two pairs of eyes locked together.

‘I would never, hyung’ - he nodded and helped Yeonjun into his pajama pants. He never missed the fresh scratches on the inside of his hyung’s thighs and red swollen area between his bruised legs. It was hard to not touch and take the pain to himself, but his hyung trusted him too much for such unexpected actions.

When they were done, Soobin carefully climbed to the wall-side of the bed, giving Yeonjun space and showing that he can walk away at any time. The eldest appreciated it.

‘Are you dating Jihan-noona?’ - he suddenly asked, burying his pink head in the large strong chest.

‘Who knows’ - the other boy dreamily replied. - ‘Why?’

‘She is good, I like her.’

‘Do you approve of our relationship, dad?’ - Soobin slightly laughed and Yeonjun smiled.

‘I want you to be happy, Bin-ah’

‘I am happy, hyung’ - he hugged the elder closer, afraid that he might slip and go into a=dark place when Soobin is not there to help him. They both tried to look okay, but both had scars on the inside. They have to deal with hyung’s health condition, dance and vocal practices, crowded areas and anxiety, which both are sure will develop sooner or later. But, at least, Soobin was there for him. He was happy with his arms wrapped tightly around his lovely pure hyung who was too kind to even the worst jerks and never deserved a mad druggie taking his innocence away.

Yeonjun wrapped his arms around Soobin’s waist and the younger could feel wetness forming on his shirt, where his hyung’s eyes were. In the safe space of their dorm, with his best friend by his side, when the light went down, he could finally cry. 

That night broke them, but also gave birth to something deeper they never knew existed. 

Soobin could swear he heard ‘I love you’ when he kissed the crown of his hyung’s head. He was crying too


End file.
